Day 62

To Dear Me,

My roommate is trying to drive me crazy, but I’m not going to let the enemy steal my joy today. I’m very concerned that I don’t have the gas money I need. After such a great weekend, I’m leery about this Monday and the rest of this week. No therapist appointment this week. I got the news that I might have to see a neurologist and I need to make an eye appointment. More doctor visits and more bloodwork for me to do. I’m trying to just get myself together.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

God’s word to me is peace when the storms of life swirl around me

Day 61

To Dear Me,

I’ll try to summarize the past day. First, I went to the movies with an old friend of mine and my son and had a good time. Then my roommate got baptized and his sister came to see him as did his cousin and his wife who go there. Then after I made dinner we watched the world series together. Today I’m going to church. I will be going to support my friend whose daughter is getting baptized. I had a good breakfast in which I only ate half of what I normally eat. I’m trying to reduce my meals and exercise self-control over my diet. I need to lose 66 pounds according to my dr. But I know that self-control and discipline will get me there.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think able

Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. I will abide in the vine and produce good fruit.

Day 60

To Dear Me,

I’m a bit frustrated that my last blog from my phone was never posted. Anyway, I’m making up for it today. My roommate is getting baptized today at church. I’m praying and hoping we have many believers join him in baptism.  I’m going to the movies with my good buddy who lives in Maryland and my son. It’s supposed to be a great movie starring one of my favorite action-hero actors. Trying to get everything in this morning before heading out. This discipline of writing every day is challenging but it’s good for me.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

God is calling, am I listening to his voice or the voices of the world.

Day 59

To Dear Me, 

I'm blogging on my phone since I forgot to do it this morning.  Today is a day when everything is happening at once at my job. Trying to plan and prioritize projects here. I'm going to Celebrate recovery after being away for 3 weeks. I wish I had done this at home this morning so I could have my morning perspective. Anyway, life is always challenging and I'm trying more to lean on God to help me through it. But also knowing that I have my part to do also. I'm trying to get out of that passive mindset and do my part. God is in control. I shall live by faith in Him.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

We have our part to do and God is faithful to do his.

Day 58

To Dear Me,

Getting ready to hit the road. I got my words of encouragement today, endurance and patience are needed for all the tribulations I’m going through. God’s word is active in my life and the just shall live by faith, which is what I’m doing. I spent my time in intercession and prayer for the saints and those who don’t have a saving relationship with Jesus yet, like my other roommate. Tonight, both will be at Jgroup and I’m so excited to see what the Lord will do with them both.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

When we intercede for someone, God is interceding for us.

Day 57

To Dear Me

I’m continuing to be obedient to God's word to me. I’m doing the will of God for my life. I’m working in the ministry alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ. Together we are taking back the things the enemy has stolen from us and setting the captives free. I’m traveling with my fellow sainted and anointed man of God to MD this evening and declaring the power of freedom of Christ. We’re going to see prisoners breaking free of the chains of addiction and living in the righteousness of Christ. Jesus, anoint us with the power and ability to do miracles in your people!

Take care

Alfred

Something to think about

Christ has anointed and appointed us to see the strongholds destroyed and people loosened from bondages 

Day 56

To Dear Me

It can be confusing when everything seems so scattered in my life. I am praying and believing God for so much. It seems to be like this all the time. But God’s peace sets my mind in order, and I pray that I have a straight path toward the things of God today and every day. I’m praying for my son’s success in the working world and at college. I’m praying for my church. I’m praying for my family. I’m praying that I accept God’s provision for my life. I’m praying for my friends. Lots of pray over and I know God sees my prayers and accepts them.

Take care,

Alfred

When times get tough, the tough people of God start praying.

Day 55

To Dear Me,

God’s word is so effective and purposeful to our lives. It’s been through the word that I have been given such precious promises that I lean on and rely on. I thank God for all he’s doing in my life. I pray that I’m a living vessel of his grace and mercy. I’m praying for not just my needs but the needs of my church, my family, and my friends. He’s placed some Godly and good friends in my life and only He could do that. My roommates are also drawing closer to God and I’m very mindful of helping them grow in Christ. God is amazing!

Take Care,

Alfred

Something to think about

God is moving and working in my life, and I need to be encouraged and satisfied in Him.

Day 54

To Dear Me,

I have been through the testing of God and have been found holy and righteous by my church. Praise God! I cannot help to be thankful for everybody who have been on this journey with me. Too many to name, but I love you all. Sometimes you just don’t know who is with you, but this has proven that those who run the race alongside of you are right there to help. I’m so happy and glad for that. I have accepted the instruction and next steps they’re graciously giving me and know that God will be glorified through this process. Hallelujah! God is a good God, and his people are worth much to me.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

When I am going through tough trials who can I count on to encourage me? 

Day 53

To Dear Me

All my hopes and dreams are dashed, and I’m filled with bitterness and sorrow. The Journey had accepted the lies and accusations of the Jezebel person who testified against me. I have lost my Jgroup and possibly most of the ministries that I have served on. I have decided that I cannot serve in my current situation. I am waiting for God to reveal his goodness and grace to me. I already have his redemption because the Lord forgives and redeems, not man. Maybe the journey has been my idol. He hates adultery and covetousness. All I know is that I’m hurting and in need of healing.

Take care,

Alfred

When have I failed God and where can I pick up the pieces again?

Day 52

To Dear Me,

So much happening. My one roommate has joined the Impressions ministry at the Journey, and he serves for the first time as a greeter there. My other roommate wants to join me and my roommate in our weekly Jgroup. God is moving in the hearts and minds of my roommate’s lives. No wonder I was personally attacked by the enemy and thank God he persevered to make the advice of no effect. I was restored just like it never happened. I’m going to fellowship with my Impressions group tonight. I’m excited about what the Lord is doing in my life.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

God is doing a new thing; will I stop and follow the cloud? 

Day 51

To Dear Me,

I’m thankful for Jesus’s cleansing blood for my redemption. Everything I have been given comes from Him. Trying to decide what my plans are for today. I’m helping my roommate return his phone and if I have time, I will be making that slow-cooking chili for dinner tonight, I have prayed already. I also read my bible and devotionals.  I feel blessed and live in the redemption He’s given me.

Take care

Alfred

Something to think about

How his redemption for me opens the door for every kind of a blessing in my life

Day 50

To Dear Me,

Ah, redemption! I’m feeling righteous over the situation that wasn’t. My name was cleared, and all of my leadership and group positions were restored to me. Thank God for my friend who encouraged me to fight for my case with the Journey. No more passivity for me. And I learned to be wise and cautious with what I share with people. I know now who my real friends are and will trust them with my life.

I’m praying for more strength and unity in the body of Christ. I’m praying for more love from God to be displayed. And I’m always praying for wisdom and common sense for the leadership to be used in their decision-making so things like this won’t happen again to anyone else.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Prayerfully leading others in all areas of my influence and using wisdom and common sense

Day 49

To Dear Me,

Well, I have some good news after receiving some not-so-good news earlier.  I was receiving strict punishment and discipline over what has transpired in my church’s ministry life and my personal life also. But I have been asking for a personal audience with my leaders and team members and I have it. Now I get an opportunity to do that. I’m going to be praying for the words to say and the things to be shared with them. I am hoping for more leniency and another chance to do what the Lord has been doing with me on the Journey. I’m in God’s story and he’s in all the details.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

God chooses the weak and foolish things to confound the wise. 

Day 48

To Dear Me,

Well, I talked myself tired with my therapist about the things that happened to me on Sunday with the Area Coordinator. My therapist and I came up with some strategies and plans for me to start doing and putting into practice. I think that I still need to just rest in God and process what I’ll be doing. I don’t want to self-isolate or allow depression to overtake me. This is truly very tough. But God will give me the strength to overcome and move forward in God.

Trusting God to know that he works everything for my good.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

No matter what happens to me, God is still good.

Day 47

To Dear Me,

I received the worst news today. Due to defamation and accusations against my Christian character, I have been removed from ministry for a time to be predetermined. I must attend Christian counseling and meet with the Impressions Coordinator to determine my next steps. It feels like someone ripped my heart of my chest and proceeded to stomp it to pieces. I have 2 choices, accept this, allow God to proclaim my innocence and watch my distractors fall away, or quit the Journey entirely. I will take the first choice and know that no weapon formed against me will prosper and that the Lord will turn this around for me.

I’ll talk over all of this with my therapist tomorrow. I hope he gives me a good assessment of my proper reasoning.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

When have I allowed the Lord to work out all things for my good, no matter what it looks like?

Day 46

To Dear Me,

Two days left of hard work at the library and two days at the Journey. I’m believing God will give me the energy and strength to do everything I need to do. I must get this journal writing done so I can start my shower and change. Sorry to be short.

But I just remembered last night. I had a good time doing the 12 steps with the men’s group last night. I’m hoping that I can continue doing that. We shall see.

God will guide me continually and show me the path. I’m walking in more victory every day.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

God is always showing us the path that we should walk in

Day 45

To Dear Me,

I’m stressing out. We have three programs that I’m a part of. It's good that people appreciate the hard work I do and want me to be a part of them. I slept and relaxed well last night and I’m feeling better today. I’m going to be working today and tomorrow. I’ll also be at the Journey for the next three days straight. I’m really looking forward to Sunday when I will relax a little bit. I’ll also spend some time with Josh on Sunday which I’m looking forward to.  Thanks to one of my friends, I now have gas money till next week so that’s a relief. I love my friends. They each contribute to me my well-being and strength.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

How has God blessed my life with healthy relationships?

Day 44

To Dear Me,

I never thought I’d get this far in writing every day. But I’ve been very persistent and patient with myself in this writing process. I have been going back and forth and up and down emotionally and mentally lately. I know He’s working in my life, and I’m trying to be confident and patient with myself. Last night I went to a team meeting at the Journey and was refreshed and renewed. It was good to just receive blessings and worship God in a corporate environment.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

How has God refreshed and renewed my spirit? 

Day 43

To Dear Me,

I forgot to take my 2^nd dosage of medicine yesterday and ended up being too tired to do anything last night. I went to bed early and slept 10 ½ hours straight. I’m still feeling tired physically. I hurt my ankle yesterday and was in a lot of pain, so I put my brace on it. I feel like I’m complaining too much this morning. I need to get focused on what I’m doing next and tonight. I’m still feeling scatterbrained from yesterday.

I might lie down for a little bit and pray for some strength from God and peace in my mind.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Mental balance is something to strive for, like Christian mindfulness.

Day 42

To Dear Me,

I have several things that I’ve been battling in prayer. I spoke to the Lord regarding my provision and my purpose. He sent me his word to confirm what he’s doing in my life. I will choose to believe him and stand in his word to me. Even when I cannot see it right now, I will trust in him. I know that my life in relationships is in turmoil right now, but I know that he will work it all for my good as his word says. I will try spending more time reading his word and helping others to do so.

God, I believe you, you are my firm foundation. My house is built on you. No matter what storms may come, I will stand and believe!

Take care,

Alfred

Who word will I believe when life gets tough?

Day 41

To Dear Me,

Again, I’m running this morning. I just keep sleeping through my alarm and getting up without allowing myself enough time to get myself ready. I am wanting to tell my side of the story between my former friend and my relationship. I have been praying for her and she’s been in my heart. I guess I am understanding what David went through when the friends he had betrayed him, the same ones that were going to the temple with him. I will not allow myself to get bitter or be offended in this situation. I will love at a distance and I'll believe God for the best for her.

Sometimes there is hurt and pain in a relationship. But I will learn the lesson that God is teaching me.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

God’s lessons for me can be painful but effective in teaching me something

Day 40

To Dear Me.

What a day I had. I was up early but not early enough to do what I wanted this morning. I had to get to the church on time, so I didn’t do my journal blog until now at night, I served and had a conversation with one of the pastors. I finished and went home to my son’s house to spend time with him. Then back home to watch football and make dinner. Then watched more football until now. I wanted to go to bed early since I have been burning the candle at both ends since Friday.  Well, at least I seem to have more to say since my day has already revealed itself.

Maybe I should do this more often like a pause and reflect moment.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Sometimes the passage of time fuels my creativity

Day 39

To Dear Me

I’m up early, getting ready for my Men’s Breakfast Fellowship Jgroup this morning. I’m excited but I have to bring up the elephant in the room so that’s not making me happy. Because of what happened last time, I must lay down some ground rules for the group. Its all a part of being a leader so I’m asking God to make me more courageous. One of the strongest leaders in the group and my friend isn’t showing up and I’ll miss him.

Not everyday in leadership is peaches in cream, sometimes it’s liver and onions,

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

When is leadership tough to do but is a part of the process 

Day 38

To Dear Me

I’m asking my family for prayers. I’m dealing with challenges with both men’s groups. I’m feeling that I’m not adequate and I’m not, but God is and he’s called and equipped me to be a leader to both groups. I’m tired because I’ve been burning the candle at both ends with new friendships. I’m needing to place my boundaries in all my relationships. I’m also trying to enforce my boundaries with my roommates. Maybe my feelings need to be enforced by the power of God today and every day.

I just prayed though all my situations. I deciding to do what the Bible says and cast all my concerns upon God and not let myself be overwhelmed.

Take care

Alfred

How has God strengthened me to do what I cannot do in my own power

Day 37

To Dear Me,

Today the sun is out. Yay! Some warmer weather today. I’m assessing all my relationships and being careful with them. Yesterday I let go of trying to mend a relationship I thought was a friendship. I honestly will love everything and the times we shared. But it must have been for a season or a reason relationship. I am growing and learning the lessons he has for me. Sometimes they are painful ones. But it's better for me.

Go with grace and may the blessings of God be with you and me.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

What is God showing me and what lessons am I learning?

Day 36

To Dear Me,

I’ve learned that loving others is hard and painful sometimes. I got rejected by someone I considered a friend. Now I think that relationship has ended. It was because we had different beliefs on how to handle a situation. I should have seen the signs that things could have gone the way they did. I needed to see that my circle of friends would be smaller and more intimate.

Lesson learned to be careful with whom I share my heart. But I wouldn’t have done anything differently.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Remember that not everybody will believe things the way I do and to learn and grow from that

Day 35

We’re still feeling the results of that bad hurricane that hit Florida last week. I’m praying for all those who were affected. Up here in the Northeast it’s still cold and raining outside. We’re going food shopping today. We really need food badly. I’m hoping for more financial blessings, but also looking for another part-time job. God knows what we need and He’s in total control!

All in all, I feel pretty good. I’m glad to have good Christian and non-Christian friends and family cheering me on.

Take care,

Alfred

Who do I know that helps cheer me on to victory

Day 34

To Dear Me,

Brr, it’s cold. The change of seasons is upon us. That and the remains of the hurricane have made this day dreary and miserable outside. I have a lot to do today and trying to get myself together. I need to be more responsible and try to organize my time better. But this is important, journaling and blogging every day.

Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity. Pro. 21: 5 is one of my devotional readings today. Touché’.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Doing all the hard work when I need to, will bring me blessings 

Day 33

To Dear Me,

It’s cold, wet, and miserable outside. But I’m going to church today anyway. Even though I heard the message yesterday I’m going to see my friends and family. I served yesterday. I’m feeling suitable for a change, I slept well. I’m going to be a blessing and enjoy myself today. I hope to see my son later and play some games with him. Oh yeah, yesterday someone sent me 60 dollars anonymously. God’s going to bless that person as it blesses me.

I cannot change my circumstances, but I can change how I respond to them.

Take care.

Alfred

Something to think about

Taking an active stance and positive attitude towards my circumstances requires grace 

Day 32

To Dear Me,

It’s the start of another month and it's already raining outside. It makes me not want to go out, but I would be giving into depression if I didn’t do the things I wanted to do today. Depression is like a monster I must always keep at bay. I’ll be doing some stuff with josh my son today, then going to the Journey with my roommate.

I’m feeling quiet today in my spirit, and I’m waiting on God to speak to me regarding my relationships with people. That’s where I’m at these days.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

When have I turned my relationships over to God to let him lead me and guide me?