Day 163

To Dear Me

I'm feeling very fatigued this morning. Not sure if it's the food I had this morning or something else. I drank extra coffe today to counter it. I'm at work early this morning. I'm doing more reading and writing right now. I'm making sure I'm being productive.

I wrote and edited some memos last night. One was for the Journey, the other was for my d&d game on Wednesday. I'm so feeling tired right now. 

Take Care

Alfred

Something to think about 

God gives strength to the weak when we trust and wait upon him.

Day 162

To Dear Me 

Sorry that I haven't been posting regularly. I spent my entire weekend going back and forth to the church and then spending time with Sharon on Sunday. Today I was at my therapist office then at my home. I ended up taking my other roommate to get his shot at Horizon House. Then taking him home and going to work.

Take Care

Alfred

Something to think about

God is concerned with my comings and goings where and when I end up

Day 161

To Dear Me 

It's raining today on payday Friday. I just rushed up and made my rent payment of $400 this morning. I also had to pay for my phone bill and get tickets for the Super Mario movie in 2 weeks. Not much left to play with and I still need to get something for lunch for today and tomorrow at the library. I'm running behind time wise so I'll end with this post.

Take Care

Alfred

Something to think about 

God is good and he supplies all of my needs.

Day 160

To Dear Me

I was going to try making it to men's breakfast tomorrow. But I ended up using my last few dollars for gas. Oh well. I'm really don't know if I should accept the position of area coordinator at my church. It sounds very involved and detail oriented. I would do well at the personal communication and community aspect. Last night I met with the assistant director of the ministry I'm in and we discussed the position. Everything else is the same for me. I'm still dealing with fleshly desires that war against my spirit. I'm trying to reign in my carnal desires and seek the goodness of God for my life.

Take Care,

Alfred 

Something to think about 

God loves a person who humbly admits their need for a savior.

Day 159

To Dear Me

I've gotten more comfortable posting on my phone than on my notepad. It's more private whereever I post and I can write undisturbed. 

I received a letter from NAMI Housing stating that I owe almost 2K in past due rent. Its obviously a mistake and I have called there. So far, I've only be able to leave a vm regarding that. I also called my mother house to see if she and my brother were hosting Easter Sunday dinner.  No answer there either. So frustrating. I'm also dealing with my own personal struggles and wrong desires from the weekend. Plus I left my book with my other devotional reading at Sharon's house. Not starting off on a good foot today and I'm hoping it gets much better. 

Take Care

Alfred 

Something to think about 

God really does care about me and the struggles I go through. 

Day 158

To Dear Me,

Another day, another time here posting about my life. I'm home on my notepad and posting here for a change. Tonight I'm going to be with my sponsor and accountability partner. I'll be discussing all the parts of my life with someone else and it's all very uncomfortable for me. This is the first time I've done something like this. I haven't been able to discuss things with Sharon, because I don't have any backbone.

Take Care

Alfred

Something to think about

God gives courage and I need to be strong and courageous.

Day 157

To Dear Me 

God is constantly telling me to trust Him more in the area of spiritual growth and I know that in order to move forward I have to be accountable to others. But I'm so afraid of what they would say and tell me to do. I want my relationship with Sharon to be more open, vulnerable and honest. But it requires I submit myself to your authority in my life and I know that I'm not there yet. This morning I took my roommates to the bank and did a couple of errands with them. We go food shopping tonight then back to her place afterwards. 

Take Care

Alfred 

Something to think about 

Growing into maturity is so tough and painful. 

Day 156

To Dear Me 

Yet another day in paradise. After speaking to my therapist, I had a hard conversation with Hollen about me living at the house. It might take some time but I think everything will work out with me living with Sharon from now on. I'm not sure how well that's going to be with my church, family, and friends. I still need to talk to my fiancée about it all first before I make my move permanently. I'm spendimg Thursday afternoon with Josh since he's on spring break this week. Hopefully I would have had a hard conversation with sharon prior to us meeting. Then I can tell him of our future decisions. I'm also going to talk to my sponsor, probably on Wednesday and ask for his help too. So many conversations and decisions to make and do, it's exhausting. 

Take Care,

Alfred 

Something to think about 

Am I letting God take control of all of my decisions, goals, and plans. Or am I doing it on my own?

Day 155

To Dear Me

Unfortunately, I slept later today and missed the 1030 gathering at church. Today I'm serving at noon. No bagel sandwich or extra food this morning. I'll pick up a wawa sub for both Sharon and myself and some other groceries. Hopefully everything will go better for us as we discuss the specifics of our engagement. I'll work on spending extra time with Josh since he's on spring break this week. Im trying my best to balance and manage my life.

Take Care

Alfred

Something to think about

I prayed a long time so I could hear from God and make my requests know to him.

Day 154

To Dear Me 

Another day accepting the grace of God.I have such sweet fellowship with him that it should make me accept others more. But that's seldom the case. I need to love others like my difficult roommates and those who I am relationship with. I still need to discuss with mother about my gf and our recent decision to become engaged again. However I feel the need to talk more with my gf about all of the details so we can be on the same page going forward. 

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about 

Everything is beautiful in its own time and in its own season.

 

Day 153

To Dear Me,

Ok, I’m trying to keep doing this consistently. Things are great with Sharon and I since we have decided to become engaged for the second time. Been seeing Sharon every night and that's a strain on my relationship with my roommates. My roommate just called me and broke my train of thought. Darn it!

Take Care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Sometimes the hardest things to do are the best things to accomplish