Day 118
To Dear Me,
I must save for another bald skin shaver. It will take
another paycheck to get it if I keep all my money. I’m working today. Then
spending time with my son and my good friend for New Year's Eve. Sometimes I don’t
feel like writing these posts, but I know it helps me sort out my
thoughts.
Take Care,
Alfred
Something to think about
God is concerned about everything I’m going through
Day 117
To Dear Me,
Too many things coming at my today. All financial bills and things I'm forgetting about. I forgot to wear my glasses today. I paid my bills over the phone and online. Now I'm blogging at work because I forgot to this morning.
I am worrying about a lot of stuff.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.
Day 116
To Dear Me,
Today, I talk to my sponsor about my workbook and my
struggles. I’m not looking forward to some of that. It’s hard but necessary
work that I’m doing. I need to admit out loud that I need God because I do. I must
finish this up early so I can be ready at our appointment time of nine o’clock.
I have another day of work ahead of me. I have prayed and read my bible and
devotionals. Now a quick shower, then we start. Lord help me.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
I cannot do anything without God leading and guiding me.
Day 115
To Dear Me,
It's another day to rush around and do stuff. I need to go to
the Hudson SSC to renew my food stamps, then pick up my meds. I’m trying to
plan out everything but it's hard. I tend to go with the flow and that needs to
change for me. I want 2023 to be a new beginning for me in some areas and to be
better in other ones. I miss now seeing my therapist until after the holidays.
He helps me run on all cylinders. I know that I’m looking for new relationship
changes in the new year. There will be some hard decisions I must make.
Take Care
Alfred
God be with me with the changes I’m going through
Day 114
To Dear Me,
Tired. Back to the grind here in Delaware. I feel like it’s
a Monday. Slowly moving and trying to get everything done before heading to
work. I’m trying to plan for New Year’s Eve and the day with my friend.
Help me Lord to have the right mindset to make Godly decisions. I must call in
my medications again. I’m washing clothing. I will put all the money I got for Christmas in my account. I’ll be buying lots of clothing for myself, but
I’m not sure where I’m going to put it all.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God gives me prosperity but it's never in the way I’m thinking.
Day 112
To Dear Me,
The final day before Christmas. I must finish wrapping up
the last Christmas presents. I gave the last of the pound cakes to my roommate.
I’m finishing up my packing too. Then relaxing till it's time to leave for
Jersey. I’m feeling alright about taking this trip and looking forward to
spending time with my son. It’s freezing cold outside. I’m dressing in layers for the next few days because of it. The next three postings will be on via phone.
I’m hoping and praying that my roommate will be ok by himself and that he's
able to go to a Christmas dinner tomorrow.
Take Care,
Alfred
Something to think about
May God watch over me and this household while I’m away.
Day 111
To Dear Me,
Today I’m doing everything to get ready for the Christmas
holiday. I’m wrapping presents, baking cakes, and returning the sneakers that I
bought at the store. I hope to see Sharon so I can give her a Christmas present
and the card I made for her. I must go to Dollar Tree to get other cards
and wrapping paper. And on top of everything, go to the Journey with Hollen to
experience the Christmas gathering. What a day. I hope everything can be
accomplished. I’m also getting my haircut and will shape it up.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God go before and after me, be with me during the busyness of the day.
Day 110
To Dear Me,
I realized last night that I had to make some last-minute
adjustments to today’s schedule. I must go to work earlier so I can leave
early. I might still get to church later than I want due to traffic. I need to
talk to my supervisor to figure out what to do. There isn’t any time to make dinner
for me and my roommates for the 2nd day in a row. I hope to do better
tomorrow. I’ll be off so I’m doing everything tomorrow and Saturday.
Take Care,
Alfred
Something to think about
God be with me while trying to get through this Christmas
holiday in the right frame of mind
Day 109
To Dear Me,
I realized that I need to go in later one day so I can take
care of some personal business of mine. I need to adjust my schedule with my
supervisor. I need to plan more often to take care of stuff that’s important. I
almost forgot to post in my journal and blog today. I want to be more
intentional in my relationships. I want to be more intentional in my church serving.
I want to be more intentional in taking care of my personal life.
Take care
Alfred
God has placed intentionality in me so I can take care of
everything
Day 108
To Dear Me,
Here we go. I’m feeling the conviction that my life needs to
change. I get this almost every morning when things aren’t seemingly going the
way I want them to. I need to be more productive at night and work on getting another
part-time or full-time job. I need to work on getting better than I am right
now. I also need to be thankful for what God has given me and stop comparing
myself to others. Maybe I need to plan and set some goals for myself. Whatever
I need to do, I need to commit to starting.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God gives me the grace to succeed, but I must put in the effort.
Day 107
To Dear Me,
I just fell after tripping over the Christmas wrapping paper
and my bag. My knee hurts since I landed on it. I’m falling behind in my Christmas
preparations. I’m rushing around too much instead of doing what I need for Christmas.
I have a short week since I’m off on Friday. That’s going to be the day I do everything.
I have my weekly therapist appointment today. Not sure what we’ll talk about.
Take Care,
Alfred
Something to think about
No point rushing around, everything will be done in its own
time.
Day 106
To Dear Me,
I’m up and getting frustrated with myself. I shut off the
active computer this morning and it seemed to take forever to start back up
again. I’m just dealing with things and I’m tired. I’m tired of waiting for this
full-time job to happen. I’m tired of this slow process of being restored fully
at the church. I’m tired of constantly running back and forth between work and
life. I just want more time to do stuff that I enjoy. I wish I could enjoy more things that others do often serving others at the church without
sacrificing my time.
Take care
Alfred
Something to think about
Maybe I just need to enjoy the season I’m in and learn from it
Day 105
To Dear Me,
I’m better rested but still feeling the pull of anxiety from
holiday busyness. I need to pay rent, but I have my nieces and nephews to get
stuff for. I think I’m just going to give them some money and tell Eric and
Sheila to use it as they see fit. I’m going to the movies with my movie and
buddy today then lunch. After that, I’m home to pick up my roommate and go to
church. Then going to visit my good friend, eat dinner and afterward hang out at
her house. Tomorrow will be very busy but I’m trying to just take things slowly.
Take Care,
Alfred
Something to think about
God gives me the grace to handle everything, I just need to just
relax and let his power help me live one moment at a time.
Day 104
To Dear Me,
Payday Friday. Yes, my bill collectors will be happy. I’m wondering
what bills are scheduled and which ones I must pay manually. It's almost too
late to do online shopping. I’m feeling tired as usual. Going to be another
busy weekend. Serving tonight with Zack, my sponsor, and going to the movies then the Journey Saturday. I’m working Sunday at the library from 12-5. I must be crazy
doing all this rushing around. I’m running behind So I’ll wrap this up.
Take care,
Alfred
Something to think about
Am I busy because of my own schedule or his?
Day 103
To Dear Me,
I’m still plugging on with these journal postings, that’s
amazing. I’m trying to wake up and get going today. I’ve scheduled so many
bills with this upcoming paycheck. I still need to buy gifts and still somehow
pay my rent balance. I need financial help like an additional part-time job at
least. I’m still looking for a full-time job. Hopefully, both will be coming
soon. A cold front bringing snow is supposed to be heading our way. Not looking
forward to that. My car is finally running well after yesterday’s transmission tune-up,
thank God for my brother’s assistance.
Take Care,
Alfred
Something to think about
He’s promised to bless me financially if I just trust him, I will stay steadfast.
Day 101
To Dear Me,
Unexpected issues. My car needs to be fixed and I hope the warranty
will cover it all. I might lose a day’s pay waiting for it to be fixed. Too many
financial issues to deal with. It's all very overwhelming. God, I need you to
move in my life today and every day. I’m going to therapy and then back home to
cook dinner for tonight. I have very busy nights this week. I have the board
game club tonight. Wednesday is gaming. Thursday is Jgroup. Friday I am meeting
with my sponsor hopefully. I need God’s peace through all these situations.
Take care,
Alfred
Something to think about
Trusting God to be there and help can be tough at times
Day 100
Wow. One hundred days of journal and blog writing. Still
stressing about finances for Christmas. I know that the Lord will provide but
will it be enough? Trying not to doubt, just waiting on God and his timing. I
have another busy day today. I have church. Then I’m visiting my friend who’s
in the hospital, Then home for lunch. Then hopefully seeing Josh. Then back
home to watch football and make dinner. Then I need to do more work on printing
on the back of the Christmas cards I made.
Take care,
Alfred
I am in need of patience while God is working on my circumstances
Day 99
To Dear Me,
Even though I have the blessing of abundance in my food
shopping, I’m still looking for help to provide more money for Christmas
shopping. I must buy some more things next week and I still have my big bills.
Not sure how everything is going to work out. I’m really believing God for some
miraculous money for next week. My interview went well I believe and I’m really
praying for a positive outcome from it. I got to take my shower and get ready
for the day. God be with me today and every day.
Take care
Alfred
Something to think about
God is near to the brokenhearted and those who are crushed
in spirit.
Day 98
To Dear Me
Today is the day. Too much going on right now. I’m trying to
be upbeat and confident. I must take my shower and iron my clothing. Then I have
a Zoom meeting that I might have to cancel so I can be ready for this
interview. I’m going to work early so I’ll already be there. My appointment is
at 12:15. I’m excited of course but filled with nervous energy. I need to think
about what libraries have meant to me and take that into my interview.
Take care
Alfred
Something to think about
God has taken care of me and has used many things to watch
over me
Day 97
To Dear Me,
I went and took my roommate to the store this morning. I’m
dealing with crazy dreams from last night and the night before. I just read my
bible and devotional readings. Now going to take my shower. I still have plenty
of anxiety about the upcoming holidays and my bills which doesn’t help my
financial situation. I need to pick up some extra money soon to pay for everything. I also need gas money for next week. So tired of struggling financially.
Things need to change and change soon.
Take care,
Alfred
Something to think about
God is able to provide all things for what we need
Day 96
To Dear Me
Another day of anxiety. I’m working on improving my
interview skills this morning. I’m
trying to figure out what I’m going to do for gas next week. I don’t want to
borrow from my brother again. Ugh. My roommate’s girlfriend is coming over
soon. I’m dealing with multiple body problems today. I did my Bible and
devotional reading and entered prayer. Praying for my close friend whose
having surgery today. I’m praying that I will remember to be wise and use
common sense in every situation.
Take care
Alfred
Something to think about
God apply my heart unto wisdom and common knowledge
Day 95
To Dear Me,
Big day today! I have one of my most important interviews
today for a full-time library assistant. I really need this job opportunity. I
do feel I’m the best candidate for this position. But I must stand out from the
competition and prove myself. I’m thinking of the word, veteran, which is what I
feel I am. I’m a veteran of all the customer service opportunities I have had
in my lifetime, and this job is the pinnacle of everything I have done. I have
served with honor and prestige with all that I’ve gone through in the various
positions I’ve done. I have been in leadership
positions at the library job and in my church. I have seen the highs and lows
of the customer service field and have come out on top successfully.
Take care,
Alfred
Something to think about
God has been with me, helping me to be confident and
courageous through everything
Day 94
To Dear Me,
Another Monday to conquer. I got up late and had to rush to
my therapist appointment. It went well but just reinforced how much I need to
do for the week. I’m way behind on my interview practice and I need to now
cram the questions. It’s so important, yet I let this lapse. I forgot to buy
stuff at the store to make chili tonight, darn it. I still need to pray and get
going to work.
Take Care,
Alfred
Something to think about,
When life gets difficult, remember God and what he’s able to do on my behalf
Day 93
To Dear Me,
Ooh, and argh! My body is so tired and sore from serving a special occasion last night. I’m not doing that again. I have a busy morning
and I must fight to get this body moving. All I want to do is rest, even though
I got plenty of sleep last night. I must serve at my church and meet with
friends afterward for lunch. God, I’m asking you to recharge and energize this
body to do what I need to do today.
Take care,
Alfred
Something to think about
Next time I’ll count the cost before volunteering to do
something for someone else
Day 92
To Dear Me,
It's raining and cold outside. It’s not the best weather
outside to go out in. But we’re going to do this thing. I just received a call
from the man of God. He was pumped and he made me feel the fire of God this
morning. I’m so charged now. I’m going to take my shower and get ready for the
day. Semper Fi. Taking charge of this day!
Take care,
Alfred
Something to think about
Just one event or one person can change everything, Jesus.
Day 91
To Dear Me,
I’m cold and tired. I just came back from the store. I had
to take my roommate to the store and buy him some soda and cigarettes. I’m
running behind now on my daily morning activities and rituals. I got paid and
bought stuff and paid bills. I’m ready for my second cup of coffee, maybe that
will get me going mentally and physically. I’m struggling to know what to write
today.
Take care,
Alfred
Something to think about
Without my morning God connection, I feel lost and swimming in darkness.
Day 90
To Dear Me
Today is the first really cold day of the year. Brr. It's
also a new month and starts the downhill slide to the Christmas holiday. Too
much going on. But I’m reconnecting with my tribe, and they are helping support
me with all my goals. I love my Christian family members. I need to somehow do
all I can to participate in my family projects and still be a blessing to
them and my friends. I need more clothing and new shoes, but I’m going to wait
till after Christmas even though it's hard. I’m making sacrifices and doing all
I can with the money I get. Praying that I can get this full-time job soon.
Take care
Alfred
Something to think about
Becoming disciplined in all things is hard but better for me.
