Day 140
To Dear Me,
Today is another day of grace and mercy being poured out for
me by God. Thankful for his abundant promises for me and others. Thankful for
His word and everything today. I’m thinking about God’s goodness today and
being mindful of them.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God who is rich in mercy wants to bless you. We must be
willing and open to receiving it.
Day 137
To Dear Me,
I have been skipping days to write posts. Maybe that will
mean more stuff to write about. Yes, I’m dealing with more conflicts with my
roommates. I must decide whether I’m going to continue serving at the Journey.
I should have told them that and taken a break. But I’m still serving. Sharon
and I are still doing very well. I must talk to my mother and my family about
my relationship with Sharon. I’m starting to search for another job that is full-time.
I’m no longer waiting for the library to contact me. They generally upset me as
far as the way they make me work there. Playing games tonight after work. Then
I’m off Thursday. I’m seeing josh in the afternoon to spend some time with him.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
I’m waiting for God to confirm his will for my life in all
areas.
Day 136
To Dear Me,
Anxiety and frustration with my roommate. Dealing with my
relationships and trying to find balance with people. Sometimes I just want to
scream my head off and run away from everyone and everything. Butt I need to
get it together and go to work.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God cares about the very hairs on my head so I know he cares
for me.
Day 135
To Dear Me,
I’m planning and preparing for a future together with Sharon. I’m hoping and praying that she decides to join me at the Middletown satellite of my church. I’m also planning to move out of here and join her at her house. I need to put in a transfer to Middletown library until I can get a full-time position either in the library or elsewhere. She’s now wearing the engagement ring I gave her. I talked to one of my best friends among my co-workers and she’s excited for me. It might be a change in the relationship for both of us. We shall see, and I’ll try to remain patient with Sharon.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
Sometimes the plans of our lives just fall into place when we let go and just trust God.
Day 134
To Dear Me,
Lots to discuss today. I’m allowing my feelings and the decisions from the Journey to determine where I’m supposed to attend and serve. I have contacted my friends who are like family, and we have been discussing everything. In a way, I feel I should have addressed this first here before talking to everyone. After all, this is the place where I discuss my life. Anyway, I still love God and I’m trying to continue loving people. But it’s a real struggle. Help me, Jesus, for you have gone through what I’m dealing with.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
The apostle Paul says to put away my past and seek God. That’s
what I want to do, but it's not easy.
Day 133
To Dear Me,
Another day of struggling. I’m trying to find my place in God. I don’t know what I should be involved in and doing. I’m taking all my fears and doubts to the Lord and praying for clarity and direction in every area of my life. Maybe I should have gone to the church this morning. Maybe I need to be praying and fasting for help from God.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God cares about every aspect of my life. I’m laying
everything before His feet and worshipping Him
Day 132
To Dear Me,
I’m back home and trying t get my morning routine straight. I’m awake and getting ready to pray and take a shower. I must live in balance with all that I’m doing in my life. I want a rich and satisfying life. I want the life that Jesus says I can have.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God sets the pace of my life. I must go along with him,
planning and living it out
Day 130
To Dear Me,
I woke up early after going to be late last night and went
to prayer. Then I met my beautiful friend and went to breakfast with her. She has
such a great heart and I promised to keep up with her. I’ve been fed abundantly
with the word this morning and have prayed to the Lord concerning the
directions I need to take to move forward. I’m trying my best to be obedient.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God directs my steps and determines who will walk this path with me. He’s faithful.
Day 129
To Dear Me,
Mulling over decisions today and for the future. What should
I do about my commitment to the Journey? What should I do to move forward in my
relationships? What should I do about my job? Who should I talk to about Sharon?
I have lots of questions and not a lot of answers. I’m asking God for help and
clarity in my mind to do some tough things.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God cares about everything that goes on in my life. So I’m leaving things in his hands.
Day 128
To Dear Me
I missed posting yesterday. I got up early to go to my
church’s prayer meeting, and when I came back, I did everything except I forgot
to post. So happy that it’s payday Friday. Yesterday was good but today is better
because I finally have money to do stuff. God’s been blessing my day both days,
so I will keep going to morning prayer. I’m trying to manage my finances, but
little things keep happening that rob me of those blessings. But I’m going to
keep trying to do better.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
Day 127
To Dear Me,
I met with my sponsor, a very godly man, and the right
person to help me impact my life toward God and his Godliness. I thank God for
him and other Godly men that will stir my gift and use it towards helping
others. I got caught up on the rest I needed, and hopefully, I can start
going to be with my church in the mornings. Every guy I talk with discusses
that I need a Godly helpmate to be with. I hope that she comes soon if she hasn’t
come already. There are many people that I’m in a relationship with who could fit
that bill. But I don’t know how to pursue them or start that. Help me Jesus,
being single is so frustrating sometimes.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God will provide for my every need and I must be satisfied with
his provision.
Day 126
To Dear Me,
Whoops, I forgot to post my daily comments today. As it's now 8:56 at night, I'll just discuss my day. I was feeling seriously depressed earlier. I had no energy or stamina or drive to do anything. I fought off the feelings and did two things that needed to get done. I made something to eat this week for lunch and I washed the clothing I needed to wear for work. My day at work was ok. I came home and went out food shopping. Then I made a quick dinner. Now I'm writing this comment.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
All things are under God's control
Day 125
To Dear Me,
Back to reality, sort of. I’m working my regular hours this
week. But next week I’m off on Monday and I must work more 8-hour days. I hope
this is towards working full-time eventually at the library. I went back to my therapist today. But I won’t
be seeing him again until 2 weeks since next Monday is a holiday. I must
stop watching late-night Sunday and Monday football. I wake up with little
sleep and feel tired all day. The therapist session went well, and we talk
about a lot of things. It helps me to think through decisions. My church
started 21 days of prayer and fasting. I forgot that since I have something for
lunch from yesterday’s leftovers.
Take Care,
Alfred
Something to think about
I had more to talk about from this posting because it's
coming after everything I did first.
Day 124
To Dear Me,
I’m getting ready for church this morning. I must decide
if I’m coming home or going to Sherri’s house afterward. I’m so glad that I’m
seeing my therapist tomorrow. I have really needed our weekly sessions and
being off for the holidays has caused me to think negatively again. I don’t
know if it’s wisdom or not, making the decisions I have made recently. He’ll
help me sort all my choices and thoughts.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God gives wisdom and provides common sense, am I asking and using it?
Day 123
To Dear Me,
I’m struggling in so many areas. I must resist and keep
pursuing all the things I have been doing, I’m finding myself not wanting to continue
the right path I’ve been traveling on. What’s going on with me? Where is the
Lord’s strengthening and grace for my days?
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
God is always there to help me, where am I and why am I hiding
from him?
Day 122
To Dear Me,
Another day in paradise. I overdrew my account again which
means I’m going to have less money coming back in my paycheck next week. I
accidentally broke the power cord for my phone, so I must order another one next
week. I’m no longer holding my church on a pedestal but seeing them as a
flawed vessel filled with flawed individuals including me. I’m going to endure
all things and sufferings that I’m going through as necessary but not permanently.
I’m only looking at trusting those in my tribe and not telling everyone my
life. It’s necessary for my life to stay private from gossipers and those who might
not have my behalf on their hearts. I’ll
still love people and pray for them but keep those things before the Lord only.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
The wise increase in learning and a brother is born for adversity
Day 121
To Dear Me,
I’m dealing with guilt and shame regarding my recent
decisions. I know I’m not being fully obedient to God in my life. But I’m tired
of trying to be perfected in my walk with him. I’m surrendering what I can and
looking for something else to help me get to where I need to be. I’m unsure what I can do to move forward, and I hope to be better somehow. I’m
feeling conflicted in my faith walk. This Christian life is tough.
Take Care
Alfred
Something to think about
Whenever we walk to move forward in our lives, it will never be a straight path but a crooked one with many twists and turns
Day 120
To Dear Me
Today I am pausing and self-reflecting on my life and the past
year and working on changing for the better in the new year. I’m looking back
on last year’s mistakes and bad decisions and the good things that happened. I’m
looking back at the blessings and curses I received from the Lord. I’m pausing
and relaxing in my faith and life. I’m going to be real with my sponsor and my
therapist when I see them both. I’m washing clothes, cleaning, and then
relaxing this afternoon.
Take care
Alfred
Something to think about
Reflecting on the manna and blessings that I received as well as the rebukes are good for Christian character
