Day 271

I have decided to stop this blog. I haven't been able to share my heart and be vulnerable like I used to because it has caused me personal hurt and pain in my ministry.

Thanks for the people who have supported me in my life. 

Take care

Alfred

Something to think about

God's grace and mercy cause me to move forward. In Jesus's Name. Amen 

Day 270

To Dear Me

Today is the day of new beginnings. I had my faith restored in the promises of God. He will never forsake or leave me. He will walk by my side when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He will never let me down. When trials come my way, he will strengthen me. Where would I be without the grace and mercy of God.

I love you Father God. I love you Lord Jesus. I love you Holy Spirit. More to come in the near future.

Take care

Alfred

Something to think of

So grateful and thankful for God and his children. 

Day 269

To Dear Me 

Today's been very up and down . I woke up and didn't want to go to work. But I dont get any paid time off since I'm a part time worker for the county. Then I was stressed out because one of my meds isn't ready yet. But I won't need it till Sunday, so why worry about that? I have been worrying a lot about my life and where it's heading these days. I don't know what I need to do and how to succeed. But dealing with life will make you tougher if you let it.

Take care

Alfred

Something to think about 

God show your servant the way so that I may walk in it.

Day 268

To Dear Me 

Ok. I finally straightened out the majority of my current situations. I'm not happy with the results. But it is what it is. I'm hoping the future is better than what it is now. I just need God to move in my situation and I need to follow after him.

Take Care 

Alfred 

Something to think about 

God is the God of everything I do. I need to trust him and move forward.

Day 267

To Dear Me 

I messed up big time. I was confused and thought my colonoscopy was this Monday. It's next Monday. But I took off last night at Wegmans because I thought I had to do the prep last night.

I also just found out too late that I didn't have a therapist appointment today. I'm writing this in their parking lot.

I guess I have so many big decisions to make that I'm becoming scatterbrained. I had good discussions with others regarding what to do but not how to do it. Its one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. The decision to just walk away and become like I was before is very hard. 

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about

It's not that God won't give me the words. It's the hearts that have been tied together that now will be broken.

Day 266

To Dear Me 

I decided to stop pushing myself to write every day. I want my blogs to be full of quality and quantity postings. Today I played games. Then came back to have lunch with sharon. Later I think I'll go to church and see some of my friends there. But I may just stay here with sharon so we can have dinner together. 

I have my colonoscopy on Monday after I see my therapist. Sunday night I'm working and I need to take my colon prep with me.  What fun that will be.

Take care

Alfred

Something to think about

Gods ways sometimes confuses me

Day 265

To Dear Me 

I'm feeling great for some reason. I can only imagine it's because all of my friends and family are praying for me. I hoping to resolve my current situation with sharon starting with a conversation we should have had a long time ago. I talked to Pastor Brad about getting a restart with the Pastoral Care Team at the Journey. He prayed for me. I'm so glad that I'm a part of what's God is doing there. I'm getting ready to prep some chicken to be cooked later.

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about

I gotta believe he's in the midst of everything I'm doing right now and in my future.

Day 264

To Dear Me 

Gods still loves me and He cares. No matter how I have sinned against him nothing can change God's heart towards me. I repent and want others to understand why I did what I did. I may lose one of my best friends because of it. But God knows who I need in my life. I'm going to start moving forward which mean some mighty powerful decisions towards God and Godliness need to be made. I'm praying that the Holy Spirit gives me the plan and words to speak and do. 

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about 

God cares and knows what needs to happen. He will lead me one step at a time.

Day 262

To Dear Me

I was up tossing and turning all night. Perhaps the toils of life are bothering me or I'm just not settled. I found out that Sharon's roommate has Covid..so I'm thinking of getting a Covid test. I'm still waiting on the nutritionist to contact me and the GI doctors office again. I keep missing calls so I set my phone to ring. I have to get my meds this morning before going to work. I have so many health struggles.

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about 

I need God's healing power to be active in this body.

Day 263

To Dear Me

Im.trying to turn things around. I missed my therapist appointment this morning. I'm feeling tired of doing both jobs. But I don't know what else I could do. Its so hot out. I wish I was in a water park. I need a vacation desperately .I need to move on from the things I'm doing to something  better. But I don't do the things I need to do to move forward. I'm not completely happy with the way my life worked out. But I don't do anything to change that. 

Take Care

Alfred

Something to think about

If I don't do anything to active change then maybe I am not really tired of it yet.

Day 261

To Dear Me 

I'm up and at em this morning. I'm at the Hockessin satellite church today. If I'm not too tired I'll go back to Newark Journeyers at 12.

So very tired. 

Take Care

Alfred

Something to think about

God strengthen that which remains of me. 

Day 260

To Dear Me 

Another weekend off. Im.going to play dnd with my library friends. Then food shopping.  Afterwards eating lunches  with sharon.  Then later taking hollen to the Journey. Then relaxing.

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about 

My days are becoming freer to do other things.

Day 259

To Dear Me 

I lost yesterday's post which was a long one. I'm getting very frustrated with posting on a regular basis because I keep missing days to do it.

I'm working very hard to keep God's holiness mindset in the front of me at all times. I have too many longings and desires that are opposite of God's best for me. I have allowed the world's mentality to form my thoughts and actions.  I'm humbly submitting to God so that his goodness can work in me.

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about

God has to be first place in order to conquer this world's lifestyle. 

Day 258

To Dear Me 

Yesterday was a lot of ups and downs. Today I hope will be better. I'm seeing my therapist today then going to my 1st job at the library. Then my 2nd job.

I'm still tired but my mood is much better.

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about 

Sometimes God is silent and we are left with pondering thoughts.

Day 257

I feel like a total failure. All I did was sleep today. No church and no seeing my son. I just finished cooking for the week. Now I'm on my way to work.

Someday you grab the tiger by the tail. Other days the tiger gets you. That's how I feel about yesterday and today.

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about 

Proper planning and right decisions go hand in hand.

Day 256

To Dear Me 

I'm back from playing games at the library.  Now I'm cooking up turkey burgers for lunch. I was having a great day until I got pulled over for having expired tags on my car. I have to wait till next Thursday when I get paid again and have the day off to go to the DMV to get new ones. After this I'm doing food shopping, then spending time with Josh.  Then going to pick up Hollen and Michael and take them to a wrestling party at Dave and Lisa. It will be a late night for me.  And I have to get up early to go to church in Hockessin and Newark.  Then go to work afterwards. 

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about 

I have a busy lifestyle and I always fill my time up to stay that way 

Day 255

To Dear Me 

I'm going to work..I rested all Wednesday and Thursday.  I'm still tired from having another tough night sleeping. I'm working both jobs today. I prayed through all of my struggles today and I'm lifting up my friends also.

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about 

God loves persistent prayer.

Day 254

To Dear Me 

I rested last night and this morning. I need to do some grocery shopping. I'm off from my job today. I received a smaller paycheck today from Wegmans because it's less than 20 hours a week. If this continues I will have to go back to working Thursdays again at the library. I'm going to wait till next week to pay bills. I might go to the pool with sharon. I still need to decide if I'm going to the Journey backpacking event tonight.

Take Care 

Alfred

Something to think about

I want my heart to be in what I do for God and others.

Day 253

To Dear Me 

I gotta stop forgetting to blog on a daily basis. Especially when I have the morning time on my hands like yesterday. I'm at the dr office, hoping that my bloodwork shows where and why I'm always so tired.  I'm only working the library job today. But I'm.going to help the Middletown Journey get together tonight. 

Take Care

Alfred 

Something to think about 

Im.going to trust that God has a way for me to get out of all the messes I've made.