Day 31

To Dear Me,

I got up on time today. Slept and had some very weird dreams. It’s stuff I couldn’t even explain or describe to anyone. I’m feeling upbeat because I got a nice compliment from one of my new friends. It really made my night. I’m feeling ready to take on today. I’m going to follow up on a few things this morning. I don’t know what else to say now. I’m just happy to be alive!

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

How can something that happens change my perspective on the rest of the day?

Day 30

To Dear Me,

As usual, I’m tired. I went to bed early but still woke up needing extra sleep. Maybe I’m fighting sickness and I need the extra rest. I just don’t know what to do next. I’m believing God for some miraculous blessings in the financial realm for me. I’m being patient and just surrendering it all to him.

I’m trying to see all things through the eyes of faith. I’m trusting for my family and friends also.

Take care

Alfred

Something to think about

Where is my faith? Is it properly grounded in the Word or the world?

Day 29

To Dear Me,

I’m starting the day early, so I’m on time for everything I need to do. I’m adjusting and adapting to my circumstances better each day, thanks to the support of family and friends. I’m feeling better and had better sleep. I’m making new friends every day and spending time enriching my relationships.

I talked to both my mother and my brother Eric last night, and we each had a good laugh/ It was a good phone conversation. Now I’m ready to start my day off right. I’ve read my Bible and devotional messages.

That’s all I needed with prayer to make me see the sunny side of life. God is a good God!

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

How do things work out when I start with the proper focus 

Day 28

To Dear Me,

I was up late last night watching my team playing football. So now I’m paying for it because I got up later than I wanted. I wouldn’t change a thing about it. But I need to be more disciplined in relation to getting a good night’s rest when I can. Overall, it’s going to be having Godly discipline that makes the difference in my life in moving forward with all the things I do. I’m using good stress to do all my chores and other things that need to happen.

I’m getting ready now and going food shopping soon. Next time it will be done earlier.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

What Godly reminders and disciplines can I put in place so I can keep moving forward

Day 27

To Dear Me,

I again got up later than I needed to today. No cooking spray caused the pancakes I made to stick to the pan. So, after a quick change, we had oatmeal and sausages for breakfast today. I went to the therapist's office and had another great session. We are trying to identify the good stress that going on in my life vs the bad stress. Running this morning to try to get everything done and it’s not happening.

Well, I can only do what I can, and leave the rest for later and for God to handle.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

How does good stress help me to be more productive

Day 26

To Dear Me,

I’m very busy today. Got up early and rushed to the church to volunteer for the prayer team at the 9am gathering. I went and ate a bagel sandwich at 10 then gathered at 1030. Then came out to assist at the 1030 at Journey Central. I stayed there for the noon gathering. I had a good conversation with my friends about food choices vs guilt. It convinced me to forego going to a restaurant afterward. Instead, I ate a couple of hotdogs and then decided to make tacos and rice for dinner, since I wanted something Mexican to eat. I thought I’d be feeling bad about not having Tex-Mex for lunch, but it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

Doing better with these negative feelings over things like dealing with food addiction.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Where have I just given in to emotional eating and addictive habits, and how can I do better.

Day 25

To Dear Me,

God is faithful and I will continue to believe that he has my best interests at heart.

I’m up early, getting ready for my 1^st JGroup meeting today, my Men’s Breakfast and Fellowship Breakfast. I’m looking forward to sharing a meal with men from the Journey. It’s not as big as I thought, but I’m happy to be doing this again. I’m hoping some of my regular friends will also be there and meet new people.

God is in the business of doing life with those who will invite him to be a large part of their lives. We honor you and ask that you be with these men and grace us with your presence, in Jesus's Name, Amen!

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Where the Lord is there are blessings and peace, where else can I invite the Lord today

 Day 24

To Dear Me,

Well, I’m feeling better physically. I got paid today, I’m trying to get everything paid and get some stuff for myself. I wish I had enough for everything, but I know that I need to be wise in my purchases.

I’m really feeling frustrated with myself, there are so many needs, and trying to separate them from my wants. I’m trying to not give in to being overwhelmed by everything, but its hard. I just want to go to bed and not think about it. But its takes lots of disciple and determination to not give up and push through the feelings.

As soon as I feel one part of my life is going better, another comes to frustrate me. Jesus take the wheel!

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Where have I felt like I’m being successful, and where do I feel I need to work on next

 Day 23

To Dear Me,

I went through a flurry of emotions today. But saw my therapist and he helped me sort it all out. I’m setting boundaries with people and the experience can be scary. But its so necessary and good to have boundaries and set boundaries with others. I know that I need to work better in this area of my life.

It's good to have a healthy and supportive lifestyle and I’m glad that God helps me seek out others who encourage me in my mental health.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Where have I not set boundaries in my life and what can I do to develop healthy boundaries

Day 22

To Dear Me

I forgot my Dr. appt this morning. My alarm for it didn’t go off on my phone today. Still fighting my mysterious sickness. I’m surrounded with jumbled feelings and emotions for myself and others. Praying for a victorious lifestyle and victory in all the battles we face, both great and small. I’m waiting of God to help restore everything that the enemy has damaged me in my life and the lives of others.

God, encourage me so that I can encourage others. Breathe new life in me by your Holy Spirit and revive me.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

How God is able to sustain and breathe new life through us through his son Jesus.

Day 21

To Dear Me,

Today I’m feeling 100% better physically. I’m hoping to be turning the corner on this sickness, which isn’t Covid. I took my test yesterday and it was negative.

I think this daily writing is helping me process all my feelings and emotions, the good, bad and the ugly.

I’m praying for all my friends, family, and church leadership at the Journey. I’m also seeking God for my next steps.

Take Care,

Alfred

Something to think about

In the good times and not so good ones, am I seeking God for help to get through them 

 Day 20

To Dear Me

Fighting through everything this morning. I’m feeling triggered and violated because my roommates constantly cross my boundaries. Dealing with emotional traumas, both mine and others. Going to encounter things with grace and perseverance, and not let these things get to me. After all its Monday and it’s the new beginning of the work week. I must remember to be thankful for all the things I have and not focus on the things I lack. Mercy and truth are ever with me, and God is working out everything for my good!

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

What things can I be thankful for and what things will motivate me toward good things

Day 19

To Dear Me,

I got up late again, trying to get everything done that I need to do today. I’m heading to the Hockessin satellite church of the Journey today, praying for the gathering and exhorting the saints there. It feels good doing his work.

Glad to be a part of what he’s doing in our area. Great grace needed always!

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

I am doing what God has blessed me with, using his gifts for his glory 

Day 18

Got extra sleep today and feeling better overall. Trying to decide what to do today. I need to stop having such high expectations for events that happen in my life. I was disappointed in myself for not telling others how I was doing in the self-sharing part of the Celebrate Recovery meeting. I keep expecting big things to happen when its all about the small things that go right in my life. I’m still expecting the miraculous and when that doesn’t happen, I quickly get annoyed and disappointed.

Again, it’s having a good attitude and not looking for these things to change me. I need to remember that I have a part to do, just like God has a part as well.

Trust in God to deliver me by inches instead of miles.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Having a good mindset and reasonable attitude towards the journey is the key to recovery

Day 17

Still really tired even though I’m getting plenty of sleep. I even dreamt of me wearing my mask and battling superheroes in my sleep. Lol.

I’m feeling better about my moods and emotions, learning that my future isn’t depending on how I’m feeling, but how God is moving me in my life. Casting all of my cares on him for he cares for me.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

God still cares about what I feeling and wants me to pursue him anyway. 

Day 16

Felt incredibly anxious last night as I was once again, feeling alone since I didn’t have anyone to sit with within the café or in the auditorium once the Team Night festivities took place. But I managed my emotions and enjoyed the entire thing anyway.

I am trying to come to terms with my singleness, but it's very hard. Seeing how happy and content all of the married couples are on Facebook and in person.

Sometimes just being by myself is a tough thing to manage and be grateful for.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

Living my life can sometimes be filled with loneliness and isolation, how do I manage it 

Day 15

To Dear Me,

Today I’m dealing with some territorial losses and things I need to let go of. I’m trying to live my life the way it is instead of the way I think it should be. I’m lowering my expectations for having and finding a mate. Instead, I’m going to live my best life as a single believer. I’m going to appreciate the things I do have.

Having a heart of gratitude for God and for others is the best gift I can give to myself.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

How Has God blessed my life, and how do I live my life in gratitude. 

Day 14

I’m dealing with some physical problems this morning. It’s keeping me moving slowly and not doing what I need to do today. I was going to reapply and try to resolve my problems with getting food stamps and general assistance. But I think I need to get some extra rest instead.

I need to get some regular exercise, even though I have foot problems. I also need to be in better shape, so I don’t have to keep struggling with these physical issues.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

What areas are you struggling in and can you do something today to work on improving in any area?

Day 13

Waking up and going in my day with multiple things on my mind. Honestly feeling very anxious and nervous. I have my therapist appointment today and I’m not sure which direction it will take.

Cast your cares upon the Lord and he will take care of you.

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about

When having the cares of the world and things caused worry and anxiety and what did I do to move forward

Day 12

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod, and staff, they comfort me.

No matter what we are up against, God is with us and with me. No trial or temptation shall overtake me, for he is making a way for me. Even amidst all of my enemies, he is there, leading me through.

Need to remind myself often and remember that God is with me always!

Take care,

Alfred

Something to think about- If God is for me, and He is, who can be against me?

Day 11

To Dear Me,

I’m finding myself very uncomfortable with my acceptance of my sinful behavior. I wanted to tell my group this, but I couldn’t get the words out. The flesh and my soul are dangerous in their pleasures, but my spirit wants to draw close to God and his ways. The apostle Paul was right about the struggle, it’s so real!

Thank God for Jesus, he can deliver me, but I need to be willing to let it go once and for all.

Submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. This is hard work but very necessary.

Take Care,

Alfred

Something to think about- what areas haven’t you submitted to the Lord and why

Day 10

To Dear Me,

Thanks for reading this blog. I appreciate your and everybody’s comments.

Today feels like a day of new beginnings. Even though I keep making mistakes, I think I’m slowly getting to the other side of my struggles. I’m also showing more vulnerability with people I trust and with others.

I’m going to Celebrate Recovery tonight and looking forward to sharing and supporting everyone there.

Take care,

Alfred

Some things to think about

A support group is vital to natural growth and helps when things are tough.

 Day 9

To Dear Me,

I’m feeling very hopeful today. Been seeing some positive growth and changes in my behavior. Finally ending some of the selfish desires than cause me to falter and fail in my relationships. I needed a “check up from the neck up”. I’ve been spending more time in prayer and working the Celebrate Recovery steps in my life every day. I’m turning back to God and asking him to strip away everything that causes me to stumble in my Christian character. I feel that these postings and getting accountable to others helped bring myself into the light and out of the darkness.

I’m walking into the light of God’s word and following him obediently.

Take care,

Alfred.

Some things to think about

Where have I stumbled and how can I avoid repeating that behavior.

 

Day 8

To Dear Me,

I’m tired as always. Tired of depression, my current financial situation, and living life at the stage I’m at, but things could be worse, and I can take delight in knowing that God is working all things out.

His plans for me are for good and for his good purpose. I got to live by faith and not by my dreary and weak feelings.

Take care,

Alfred

Somethings to think about- where have I felt like God hasn’t been there for me? I’ll talk to God about these things and know that he can handle my feelings of doubt and fear.

Day 7

To Dear Me,

Even though I am spiraling downwards in my personal feelings, I cannot give up my hope in God. He’s faithful and will see me through this very difficult season. I must remain grateful and have a heart of gratitude toward what I do have. I appreciate everyone’s prayers and those who are in my personal circle of friends.

As Iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend!

Take care,

Alfred 

Day 6

To Dear Me,

I went through the online materials and resources for Celebrate Recovery last night and this morning. I am feeling overwhelmed by all the weaknesses and things that I am unable to deal with in my life. But I can only work and live one moment at a time. God, I trust you to make a way where there hasn’t been a way in my past. I see now how my past history has made me a victim and I’m wanting to change that.

I also feel that is why I struggle so much with being liked and appreciated.

God is for me and not against me and has a good plan for my life. I trust you Jesus, my Lord, and Savior!

Take care,

Alfred

 Day 5

To Dear Me,

I got up very early to go to the Journey, my church, this morning. It was a labor of love. I was the only one serving at the 9 am gathering and even though it was announced from the stage, no one took advantage of the moment. Ah well.

Still tired, and left wondering what this day and long weekend hold for me.

Take care,

Alfred

 Day 4

To Dear Me,

Today I’m battling against the things that keep tripping me up in my single life, especially in the areas of purity and sanity of mind. Feeling farther from God than ever. The sins of single men are ever present in me and in me. I just want to walk and live in freedom over my past life. Thank God for Jesus’s forgiveness and cleansing power through his Holy Blood and strengthening by His Spirit.

Taking my life back to God and asking for my better life to begin today in Jesus’ Name!

Take care,

Alfred

Day 3

To Dear Me,

Today is a real struggle. I received a bad report from a psychologist that recommended that I couldn’t work a full-time job due to irritability and loss of focus. So, the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation wasn’t going to offer me any full-time positions, just part-time positions. I already have a part-time job with the Route 9 Library and wasn’t looking on getting another one.

This just frustrates me and makes me angry. But I will prove the Dr wrong by getting a job anyway.

I will trust and believe God is for me and not against me!

Take care,

Alfred

 Day 1

To Dear Me,

I have been struggling to feel like I’m moving forward in my life. My circumstances haven’t really changed for me. Yet I’m supposed to be living by faith, not by feelings or circumstances. 

I’m seeing a therapist and doing this devotional to show myself that I am making small changes and that itself can lead to better things. I must be patient and give myself some grace. 

I did my rewrite for the Journey’s 21 days devotional, and I pray that it can be an encouragement to all who reads it. 

Need to get going to start my day.

Stay strong in the Lord and in the power of his might.

Take care,

Alfred

 

Day 2

To Dear Me,

Think about a lot of stuff. My current relationship with my roommate, and ways to help him to grow spiritually. I’m thinking about ways to make extra money until I finally get a full-time job. Thinking of ways to get my food stamps paperwork filled out. Thinking of how to get me focused on moving forward in all areas of my life.

I’m learning to rest in God, knowing that he’s watching and taking care of me, even when it doesn’t seem or feel like it. Learning trust one baby step at a time.

All of God’s promises are yes and amen.

Take care,

alfred